Joie de Vivre

Written by Alecs Kakon

Photos by Jen Fellegi

I’ve always been more of an existentialist when it comes to happiness. With complete self-conscious awareness of the why when a feeling consumes me—the control I exercise to understand it, make sense of it, name it—I’m just utterly cognizant of the performativity of it all. The beguiling air of the pure joy of living so overt in the moment of genuine exultation is something I have only experienced countable times. The birth of my last child was an instance of sheer elation, because although I was beyond happy to bring my first into the world, I was petrified, and that fear took over in the hour of delivery, and my second child was not breathing upon arrival, and so again that fear was ever present. But the third, born healthy and strong—with the knowledge that he was my last—brought a complete sigh of relief and lasting smile to my face. But alas, the moment was fleeting, because of course, in sure Alecs form, I put too much thought toward it. I’ve always watched those who can completely let go, as though drunk on life, seized by the senses; suspending thought and just living in the moment. I’ve wondered if it is a learned behavioural trait or perhaps if it is part of one’s genetic composition, built into one’s constitution. It’s a question that has motivated me to understanding the human experience, mostly because I would like to adopt this foreign way of being. I’ve encountered very few people who embody such authentic happiness, not a version of it that relies on detachment, borders on toxic, or is slightly (if not completely) delusional, I’m looking for the raw, radical, real deal. Seized with rapture, I am drawn to these people, as I attempt to emulate their ability to be, simply be, in the most real of ways. Sitting with Julie, we talked about her cultural upbringing, her precocious attitude and her joie de vivre that coloured it all.

Born in 1977 in Montreal, Julie grew up in a home of hybrid culture. Her father brought with him his French lifestyle and it was infused by her mother’s French Canadian traditions. Spending most of their time at the family-owned Au pain doré, Julie, along with her little brother, were brought up in equal parts by her paternal grandparents in the formative years and her maternal grandparents in her young adolescence. “We spent a lot of time with our grandparents, especially on the weekends, because that was when the bakery was busiest. I remember my grandmother would cook eggs with parsley, because she never compromised on flavour even if I was a kid,” Julie describes. “Looking back now, my cultural background has really informed the person I am, the way I eat and even the joy I have in staging a table setting or hosting friends.” Celebrating holidays and birthdays were not the only reasons Julie’s family would throw a party, as something as simple as oyster season would inspire a gathering. “My father would always go all out and host friends and family for absolutely any and every reason. He was a serious bon vivant and I really thrived in that environment.”

Splendidly immersed in the moment, Julie got the best of both worlds, as she learned to let go and enjoy the present while also learning the importance of industrious hands. “I was working at 13 years old at the bakery. Mostly because I wanted to make my own money, but also because it’s just in my nature. I love to work, I always need to keep busy,” Julie says. “I remember I would work every Saturday for 10-12 hours at six dollars an hour, because I wanted my freedom and I earned that by working,” Julie recalls. A rebellious and mature teen, Julie was more than a year younger than her peers, as she modestly explains that she skipped grade 5. She was merely 14 years when she was heading out for a night on the town to hang out with her 16-year-old friends. Understanding the type of child he was up against, her father never tried to keep her from engaging in a social life, instead, he accompanied her on the scene to ensure that she relish in the ease of a carefree night out, because his presence would set the tone for a safe environment. “It’s funny now to think about it, but my dad really did parent me in a way that allowed me to always be myself. He never tried to reign me in,” Julie says. “We went to bars together so that he could get to know all the owners and bartenders, that way, when I went by myself, there would be eyes watching me. It was a controlled sense of freedom, but it really worked for me.” Incidentally, being allowed to go where and when she pleased taught Julie to find the balance within herself to reel it in when need be. “My parents would see that I went out until whatever hour in the night, and so they would be sure to put me on the 4am shift, just to keep me on my toes. Later, when I was working as a barmaid in the after-hour world, I never got lost in the darkness. In fact, I built a great network I still have today!”

Continuing on with the same stride, Julie has curated a career for herself as a fashion and lifestyle influencer as a way to maintain the equilibrium in her life as well as a sense of purpose. “Working is just something I know I have to do, it’s in my DNA, but my priority is my family as well. My kids are the number one source of my happiness. So I found a way to work, but for myself. I can be with my family whenever I want, because I’m my own boss,” Julie explains. Modelling happiness as well as self-care for her children, Julie’s belief is that in order to be happy and truly enjoy your life, you need to love yourself. “I’m so happy I’m healthy and can take care of my loved ones. When my father was sick, I realized how important our health is. You can have all the money in the world, but if you don’t have people to love, who love you back, then what’s the point. When my dad died in 2018, I lost a big part of my life. My father was a huge part of me; I’m just so lucky that I was able to have so many beautiful memories with him. He taught me so much about life, about being a parent, and about living true happiness.”

Learning from those around her, Julie observes others so as to grow as an individual. By watching her visionary father and resilient mother enjoy unmitigated fun whether at work or on vacation (or popping magnums at the next best party!), Julie learned that beyond any human experience lies human emotion. To indulge in those fleeting moments is to remember that it’s more about the feeling, the connection and the bonds that make each moment count. Julie reminisces about her childhood days with happiness, and a sprinkle of sentimentalism, as one cannot be too nostalgic for that which is still ever present. Julie celebrates life surrounded by loved ones, giving gratitude for the gift of life and her genetic joie de vivre.