Going Home
Written by Alecs Kakon
Photographed by Jen Fellegi
Our families are our first source of reality. We learn the meanings of words, our fundamental values, accepted behaviours, and so on, from our parents or guardians. It’s safe to assume that looking around at your immediate environment in your formative years, one can start to figure out who you are. From there, comes the feeling of comfort in knowing that there is a place for you; that you fit in somewhere. Having that sense of belonging roots security and safety, which in turns fosters a freedom that allows for pushing boundaries, taking risks, and toying around with what feels right until you come out the other side with a strong sense of identity and autonomy. I think those who have had a life that fits this description take for granted just how much unconditional love and support really do nurture a healthy dose of self-esteem with a nice splash of positive self-worth. For those who grew up in an environment where danger lurked and support systems failed, the world (even the microcosmic version of the family unit) was a large and lonely place with almost too much room to roam free and no anchor to attach to. In order to hinge herself to a purpose, Karina has found meaning in her life by nurturing healthy attachments to which she can fasten her heart. By searching within to find her true self, Karina discovered a spiritual power that has allowed her to practice self- love, connect with a natural and higher realm of spirits, and build a sense community which has, in essence, become her family. Forgoing constructs that have etched her into margins, she continues to explore her understanding of what it means to live and be in this world.
From a very young age, Karina was on her own. Born in Taiwan, she was sent away to Singapore to boarding school where she lived for one year before her step-mother would join her to watch over her. “It didn’t turn out well,” she describes. “There was lots of trauma, and because of the experience, I lost faith in my dad.” Sent back to Taiwan to live with her grandparents, Karina would attend junior high. However, her grandparents had no intentions of tending to her and within a couple of months, Karina was given the choice to move to any place in the world, and with no reason known to her at the time, she chose Canada. “I didn’t know why Canada called to me. I know now, I was pulled here.” Immersing herself in Western culture, she at once felt the isolation of feeling completely alone on the other side of the world as well as an imbalance in her relationship to her new environment. She had to find solace amidst the abandonment she felt at the hand of her family as well as the new surroundings she was inhabiting. “Being in Western society, I just lost touch with nature. I lost touch with myself. No one teaches the importance of living in harmony, in Ayni, reciprocity and appreciation of earth. Things felt different here.” The turmoil she felt from her upbringing was compounded by a resistance to the new life that was thrust upon her, and she was alone to navigate it all.
It was about 20 years ago that Karina had her first experience of having visions and hearing spirits. With a clear definition of what constitutes as “normal,” Karina was prescribed drugs to suppress her psychic gifts, and subdue her soul. “It was a massive oppression of spirituality,” she describes, but the spirits never stopped calling. A little over 4 years ago, Karina openly accepted the communion, and thus began her path to shamanism and Soul Realignment®. Aware that her experiences and choices (my word, not hers) mark a distinct way of life that might be seen as alternative or new age, Karina explains that concepts like individuality and competition are encouraged in Western society and promote people to move in a direction that forces a rupture between us and the earth. Growing up in cities and using nature as a resource, Karina had once completely lost touch with what now, as a grown woman, she feels is an intuitive way to feel balanced as she lives in harmony with nature.
Always connected, mind, body, and soul, Karina acknowledges that she is from the earth; she is not living here as an observer. “Nature is not something to look at,” she says. “It’s something we are in.” Through her work, she offers a way back to nature as she teaches and guides people on how to be in touch with who and what we are. Cultivating a life filled with playfulness, purpose, and unconditional love, Karina’s spiritual awakening has expanded her world both in depth and volume. Vibrating at a higher level, her physical body is her embodied soul; a material that belongs to the world, and her work here is to find happiness in the human experience. What had started out as a life in deficit of conventional family, support, and love, is now a life open to all possibilities, both earthly and other-worldly. Karina ventures inward, looking within to find peace as she practices self-awareness and continues to search for who she is, where she belongs, and what life’s purpose is.
Living in two worlds and floating between two realms, Karina is constantly balancing her daily work as a single mom to a young boy and finding her footing in a society that resists her way of life (or just doesn’t understand it). Karina manages her energy, channels her youthful sense of play, and has created a life for herself that does not hinge on traditions that she was born into. Rather she has healed the residual pain of her past and now nurtures her new rituals and promotes awareness, connection, and harmony. Having recently gone through a transformation on her trip to Peru, Karina’s openness has allowed her to find her place and feel the security that unconditional love provides. “It was like going home,” she explains of her trip. As Karina continues to expand her mind and spirit, she has created a community to go home to. And with home, comes family.
